my mom in the 80s

my mom has been diagnosed with motor neuron disease… it’s related to ALS… she might die within a few years . it’s early stages we’re still figuring things out. she’s super devoted to her health and figuring things out, she’s very assertive and advocates for her needs & she has plenty of people there to help her with things. but it’s so hard to be across the country. i’m really scared. i love her so much. i just hope we have more time left. i need to see her

just saw 2001 a space odyssey in theatres (i believe it to be the greatest film ever made in terms of technical achievement); observed how the great journeys of discovery in the film are only made by men. despite this, the theme of the story hinges on creation… even the imagery of galaxies being born, like egg yolks… and then, the embryo-fetus-baby… how is life created except thru women? so i decided i want to see a movie of equivalent beauty and scope about women in space. i want to be involved. i need to somehow go to film school and become a cinematographer (tangentially, that’s my main gripe with much of modern cinema- it looks like absolute shit. digital ruined us). anyway, to start i have to save up enough money to buy a good film camera and start taking photos. i have the vision but i’m not up to speed on the technicals. cinematography calls to me because it feels like collaborating with others and providing my own creative reorganizing of a concept and vibe… it’s a lot like collaging… it’s a lot like cleaning somebody’s house….. i want to change things, i want to show the other half of the story. the next cycle of humanity’s creation, overseen by women.